Bunch of Runs

Today was 5 miles @ 9:27 pace. Yesterday (7/19) was 3 miles @ 9:58 pace (very hot) and Sunday was 7 miles @ 10:09 pace (ran w/ Erin). Cooking some dinner (rice) and watching Platoon right now. Worked on the "work plan" brief with Carmine, Rita, Doug, Ahmed, and Mike. Not too bad. Worried about all the work still to be done.

5 miles / 9:48 min. pace

Brutal run today. So hot even though I started at about 9- could not keep my pace up. This was a rough week in general though and glad that its over. I briefed for Ed on Friday and it looks like they're trying to find another 6 @ 266 and 12 @ the 286. I really hope they leave my stuff alone. Cleaning the condo now, especially the bathroom. Hungry going to grab a bite.

4 Miles / 10:00 min. pace

This was a bad run. Very hot and hard to breathe. Pretty much reflected how this week has been going. Jay felt like he didn't need alot of support next year re: convergence so I did alot of coordinating w/ him to keep the staffing- 3 conv. and 1 cross-domain. Tommorrow I'll brief the OMT on next years work and this week will be done. So ready for it to be over but things have gotten better.

I met a runner girl who is running 100 miles this weekend. Insane!

10 miles / 9:59 min pace

Oh man it was hard gettting up today. Yesterday I spent the day climbing with Vegas and Gil over at Franklin. Did two 5.8s and a 5.9 (Anchors Away)- was wasted after the 5.9 and really dehydrated so I didn't climb much more after that. We got back late last night though (11:30) so that made getting up this morning harder. I really did not want to run today.....so tired but I ran away. I'm glad I did, the run went fine. I felt pretty solid. Icing the knees now...

5 Miles / 9:18 min./mile

Not a bad run today.....was shooting for a 9:20 pace and ended up with 9:18. Nice and cool weather so it felt better. Stayed home from work today and now the AC is fixed but I still have a water leak. Very annoying but will need to look into that on Sunday. Tomorrow I'm going climbing at Franklin w/ Vegas and Gil. I haven't done any lead climbing since Red Rocks so I'm looking forward to that.

Here we go again

Despite my better judgement, I've decided to run a second marathon. This time it will be in my home territory of Chicago. According to the website its 94 days, 11 hours, 48 minutes, and 36 seconds away. Training has been ongoing the last couple of weeks but, like the last marathon, I've decided to log my training runs. Along the way, I'll try to capture some of whats been going on in my head.

Today was a 3 mile run and the pace was 9:06. The goal for the first marathon was just to complete it but this time I'll be shooting for a 9:00 min/mile pace or ~4:00 total time. Erin is training with me and we'll be running this together. We'll be training together on our long Sunday runs.

My observation now, having done this before, is its hard to get motivated to do this again. Unlike the first time, now I know what lies ahead.....the summer runs where it feels like you've taken a shower, sweat burning your eyes, constant hunger, power gels, cliff bars, sore legs. Although I'm looking forward to the sleeping soundly for once...after the long runs, those were some of the deepest sleeps I've had in a long time.

Maybe this will help me get things back on track. I feel like I'm rudderless right now......

Braces are history!

Just had my first lunch w/o the braces on. I got them off this morning, it feels great and the teeth look good. It was a bit of a pain to get them off since there was alot of scraping to get the glue off. I almost bit the women who was scraping off the glue. Need to go back this afternoon to get my retainers.

Haven't posted anything in awhile...been lazy about this. Since Nov., I had the CR trip which I'll post pictures about. Got all my performance reviews done and now need to get my Feb. WV and Terminal arch. deliverables together. Still not comfortable with work yet but hoping it'll get better with time. Thats it....

Performance Reviews

Need to start writing FY04 performance reviews....I hate doing these..I've got 12 to do and they're due by Dec. 17th. For whatever reason, they've pushed the due dates up so now we have less time to get them done. I've blocked out all day today to work on them. Unfortunately, I'm feeling sick...woke up yesterday morning w/ a sore throat and have been feeling worse since then. May try to play some texas hold 'em tonight....we'll see how I feel.

The Terminal work is not good right now...one of my key folks has been out alot and the future stuff is a mess. I need to reorganize that piece and I've lost time. I'm frustrated with some of the folks since they don't seem to care too much about the work. Trying to work my way through it...

Tomorrow is turkey day with Meg and Lauren...that should be fun. I hope I feel better. Also, ran 3 miles on Tuesday, time 25:47...about an 8:36 pace...8 seconds faster than last time but I was feeling it.

Sunday night

Watching "touching the void" on WETA. Its a little different from the DVD, they have some additional voiceovers but not too much. Got the car washed today and it looks pretty good when its clean. Its running fine too so I have a hard time justifying getting a new car. Looked at my finances too and I'm better off waiting a few months before buying so I'm thinking I'll get the Forrester in March or April. No hurry either way.

Went to watch Michigan and Illinois play yesterday but the bars were really crowded, Erin, Drew, and I tried three different bars before we ended up staying at Mr. Days. Left just after halftime since we were standing.

Saw Julius today to observe a visitation. He looks great and is walking around alot- he just wanted to explore. It was a good visit and L seems to be doing well. Also went to the gym and ran three miles and worked the legs. Total time: 25:55....thinking about running another marathon in May w/ Erin. She convinced me to shoot for an 8:45 pace with a marathon time of 3:45 hrs....thats a full 1:30 faster pace and 45 minutes shorter than what I ran in SF (10:15/4:30 hrs). I think it can be done....I figure I can take 15 minutes off right away because of the SF hills so then I just need to shave another half hour. Yeah right, we'll see......

Risk-taking

Kind of a long read but interesting:

http://cms.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-19941101-000027.html

It talks about that climber I mentioned in the blog below. I like this quote:

Maddi suggests that well-adjusted people are "good at turning everyday experience into something interesting. My guess is that the safecracker or the mountain climber can't do that as well. They have to do something exciting to get a sense of vitality. It's the only way they have of getting away from the sense that life sucks.

Well-adjusted people? Thats harsh. So according to this, if I wasn't climbing I'd be addicted to drugs, gambling....Hmmmmm.....strangely enough I have noticed my "need" to go to Vegas at least twice a year has dropped since I've started climbing. Also going to learn snowboarding this winter. After reading "touching the void", now I want to try mountaineering. I'm sensing a pattern. We'll see.

Sunday Morning

Bailed on the hike w/ E and SJ. Felt bad but just wasn't feeling it. Ended up heading to a party w/ the climbing group. We dranks some beers and watched "climber porn" which was just some climbing videos. Hilarious. One of the videos showed this solo climber who would go up some 600 feet 5.11s. Insane. Well he died on a solo climb in '93. I wonder what he was thinking while he was falling......that really bothers me.

Going to do some climbing today at GF w/ Neal. Looking forward to that. Cleaned the condo yesterday (instead of Veterans day). Hmmmmm......watching CNN and just found that the tax dedcution for giving your car to charity is going to change after Dec. 31. In '05 you can only deduct what it actually sold for not what the blue book value is. I may accelerate my plans to get a new car. BTW- I've decided to buy a Subaru Forrester. Its in between an SUV/typical car and gets decent gas mileage. I talked to a women at Starbucks yesterday who had one and she said she loved it.

Spent some more money this week on a sleeping bag/pad and also ordered some more books from Amazon.com.

Day off for Veterans Day

Almost done with "Touching the Void". I can't understand how he had the resolve to keep going, its beyond me. Have some time off today for veterans day. Heres some of the things I'd like to get done- clean condo, clean car, climb. Lets see how the day goes. Overall, not pleased with the way things are going right now. Trying not to be too hard on myself but need to do something to keep things moving.

Finally had VN provide some architectures and meeting w/ FAA on friday to review. We'll see how that goes. Still uncomfortable with me leading this work but trying to work through it. I think the WV civil war is finally ending, such drama. I need to talk to AM and CL to close this out.

A good quote from the climbing group:

Struggle all day with what you love doing, and you're just tired.
Struggle 5 minutes with something you don't like, and you're overworked.

Right on...

Braces

December 20th......thats the day the braces are coming off. The ortho did a CR (check for removal) today, made some adjustments, and said next time they're outta here. Sweet! I wanted them off before Thanksgiving but this will work.

Had a good weekend. Drove out to Coopers Rock on Saturday for some bouldering, not too sure how I feel about that. We were going up some pretty high boulders and it was unnerving to be that high w/o a rope. Sunday did some climbing at Sugarloaf Mountain. That is a great area w/ good rock and some beautiful views. Scraped up my arms and legs pretty good, interested to see what the doc. will say on Wed. for my physical.

Work was so-so, ATO roadmap stuff and WV meeting which I ended up skipping out early on anyway for the ortho.

Portrait of an INFP or ISFP (take your pick)

I took the Myers-Briggs test a couple of weeks ago and it said I was an INFP (Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving) or an ISFP (Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.). I was tied on the Intuitive vs. Sensing dimension and, according to them, the tie-breaker goes to the N (Intuitive). Anyway, heres what the say about INFPs:

If you are an INFP, you make up approximately 1% of the American population.

You are sensitive, idealist, and loyal, and have a strong sense of honor concerning your values.

You are interested in possibilities beyond what is already known.

You focus your energies on your dreams and visions.

You are depply committed to whatever you choose to undertake.

You are compassionate, sympathetic, and understanding, and very sensitive to the needs of others.

Possible blind spots:

Since logic is not a priority to INFPs, they sometimes make errors of fact and are unware that they are being illogical.

Because INFPs are so committed to their ideals, they may have a tendency to overlook other points of view, and appear to be ridgid.

Since INFPs are so emotionally entangled in their undertakings they are very sensitive to criticism.

Because they are "people pleasers", INFPs find it hard to criticize others or to take a stand for an unpopular position.

Possible solutions:

Developing more objectivity in reference to their projects will help INFPs be less vulnerable to both criticsm and disappointment.

INFPs need to learn to be more assertive and offer constructive criticism of others when the need arises.

Not too bad as far as describing myself. Pretty much dead on. Now, heres what they say about ISFPs:

If you are an ISFP, you make up approximately 6% of the American population.

You are patient, flexible, easy to get along with and have little need to dominate or control others.

While you are gentle, caring, and sensitive, you tend to keep much of your personal ideals and values to yourself.

Since you tend not to lead you are often a loyal follower.

Some possible blind spots:

Being highly sensitive, the ISFP can clearly see the needs of others, and may neglect their onw needs in the porcess.

ISFPs may be seen as gullible and too trusting because they accept things as they are.

Possible solutions:

ISFPs need to learn to take time out and care for their own needs.

Learning to consider the the implications of others behaviors, applying
some objectivitity and skepticism to their analysis, may help the ISFP become
better judges of character.

A couple of issues with this one. First, is the "too trusting" and "gullible" part. I'm actually pretty skeptical about most things I hear in the media or read about. Always like to verify stuff on my own. Also, the "since you tend not to lead" part is not really accurate. At least with work stuff, I lead pretty much everything. I am the "boss-man" as they say. Other than that, pretty decent assessment overall.

Week in Review

Hmmm....lets see if I can remember what I did this week:

Monday- ?? Don't remember. Scary.
Tuesday- Alisia helped pack my stuff for my office move. Went climbing w/ sky and Ocean.
Wednesday- Alot of drama at work. Had a miscommunication and forgot to clean my office. Felt really badly that K and A had to finish up. Boss called me when I was downtown, WTF- theres nothing I could do unless theres some magic transport that I don't know about. Then I got back to work and there were some last minute edits to our deliverable. Also, boss scolded me about Daves WV deliverable. So happy that I won't be working w/ her anymore. I did a run @ Golds. Tired.
Thursday- Worked on slides for Jays meeting for Friday. Wanted to go to HH w/ Yahoo group but was tired and fell asleep on the couch.
Friday- Briefed Jay on our FY05 plan. Went really well and I'm excited. Spent the afternoon setting up one-on-ones.
Saturday (today)- going to a RAB w/ E and football watching in the afternoon.

Courage: Quotes

Some quotes I found about courage that I really like:

3rd Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”
~ Don Miguel Ruiz from The Four Agreements Courage Quotes - Honesty

“A 'No' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi20th century Indian spiritual & political leader

I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing. Anais Nin

It takes courage to push yourself to places that you have never been before... to test your limits... to break through barriers. And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. Anais Nin

Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat. Anais Nin

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. Anais Nin

RAB

Went swimming Thursday night. I definititely feel like I'm getting better but I'm still having trouble with my breathing. Went to dinner after that with Erin, Lauren, Drew, and Kev. Drew and Lauren both got health insurace so it was a min-celeberation. We were talking about Halloween costumes for me and Erin eventually said "screw you" which was funny.

Friday met w/ Jay, was late and embarassed. Anyway, it went well and I'm excited about this whole thing. I think its going to be great. Hung out at FAA rest of the day. Went to happy hour with Jim and Randy. It was ok. Jim talks a little bit too much about work for my tastes, Randy not as much. We argued about Bush. Jim is voting for him which I was suprised about.

Today going to do the Run Against Bush this morning.

Julius 1st B-day

Went to the nursery yesterday (2:30 - 6:30). I can't remember the last time I've been in one. It was fun seeing all the little ones running around. The boss lady showed me a copy of Julius testing and he looks like hes testing fine. They had their own little boxes with their names on it to put their stuff in. The party with Julius was great. I was happy I was able to make it there. I ended up taking some videotape while Marty took pictures. I need to get some of those pictures from them. Anyway, Julius was a little tired and cried a bit but he had no problems when I held him. I think he remembers who I am. Thats it...

Group Meeting

Just met w/ my group and told them I'm leaving to manage a different effort. Peter looked upset but I talked to him later and he's ok. Ralph was not happy but I told him he's better off staying where he is. My stomach is all upset. I guess its making me realize this is real and I'm getting nervous. Ah well gotta love change...

Went swimming and climbing w/ Erin. She did a good job of improving my feet technique for swimming. Swallowing alot of water though. We may go swimming again on Thursday.

Marathon Conversation

Had a funny conversation this morning getting my coffee- saw Charlie and we were talking about work and he mentioned seeing me at gravelly point. At this point I was feeling all proud and bad ass and told him yeah, I was running there and just got done with the SF marathon. He then said thats great and in the course of conversation mentioned he had run two marathons before- in just over 3:00 hrs!!!! My jaw just about dropped through the floor. Hes got to be in his mid-fifties so I was humbled a bit. Anyway, hes interested in partnering with me for training on whatever events I would like to do so thats cool. Talk to ya....